Imprint and Reflect.

Children are like photographs. They are imprinted with what they see and reflect it back outward. Sometimes they become spitting images of those around them but then other times they twist the reflection, turn it upside down, and become the complete opposite. It depends, like the camera used in photography, on the child doing the reflecting.

It's an odd relationship, the one between a child and it's parent(s). It starts out being completely based on co-dependency. The child, utterly new to the world, relies on their parent to teach them everything. How to eat, walk, talk, and act. Then around the age of 2 they start creating their personalities. They take ques from their parents on what is and isn't acceptable. What they can get away with and what just simply won't be tolerated. By the age of 10 they have a serious foundation for their individuality. They've developed a sense of humor and they've started learning how to take care of themselves. Most 10 year olds have responsibilities and they know what consequences are. They still rely on their parents though. They still take ques as to what they should be doing and how it should be done. By, lets say age 13, things start to change and the battle for Independence begins. For some reason by puberty humans tend to think that they know exactly what is best for them. Puberty is when the war with authority starts. We seem to think by that age we've figured the world out and how it works. We are, obviously, completely wrong in assuming this because up until this point we only know what our parents have allowed us to see. We've lived extremely sheltered lives under the wings of our parents. Now according to the child a few different things can happen. 1. They start their long pathway down self destruction. Although that pathway doesn't start fully slopping downhill until around age 15 or so, when drugs and alcohol have been introduced by the worst of one's peers.
2. They act well in school and get good grades, saving their battle for Independence for the home front. These are the kids that think they should get everything for nothing. And that a bad parent is someone who won't take them to Disney. 3. The kids that flunk in school because they decided that they don't want to try and would rather slack off and hang out with their friends. These are the ones that think that school is only for socialization. They also tend to smoke pot.
4. These are the kids that get lost in the fray. The ones that fade into the background.

Obviously I haven't covered every kid but these are the vast majority. There are a number of things that happen in these kids lives that land them into these certain groups. Like whether or not both parents were present in their lives, what tragedies have occurred in their lives, whether or not they were neglected. All of these things play massive parts in their lives and their growth as people.

Of course there are exceptions to every rule. Sometimes child who have been neglected become top students and end up with tons of friends, just so they can prove to at least themselves that they're worth something. Sometimes children who have been loved by numerous people in their lives and have never wanted for anything in their lives become drug addicts by the age of 17. Other times children who were abused become these inspiring and hopeful people who won't let that detour their course for greatness. Like I said, it all depends on the child. Their strength and resilience.

People reflect those around them, but they also have their own personalities and ideas. We can't blame everything we do on how we grew up. It's only too obvious that we control what we do and how we act. Sure our past has an effect on our futures, but so do we.

My father and brother were both arrested today and I'm just trying to explain to myself why I'm so different from them. Why I'm so different from my mother even. My family has roots so deep in drug abuse that I'm not sure how any of them have survived this long and yet I've never dreamed of touching the stuff. Neither of my parents graduated with their class from High School, yet I graduated with honors. I'm not saying their bad people. My mom has come a long way from where she was. She's grown a lot since having my younger brother and I. [My father's another story for another day.] I'm just not sure how my brother and I, who were raised exactly the same, ended up so completely different. I think it all boils down to how your brain works. Your emotional strength and how much of a drive you have.

I don't know. Now I'm just rambling. Look I'm not saying that this blog is right, or that it even makes sense. This is all just what I think. Agree with it or don't. That's up to you.

I'll be seeing ya.